So it’s been a while since I’ve blogged and a lot has happened in the past couple of months, many changes, lots of newness...
The name of my blog has been so relevant this year, things have just been happening at an unbelievable speed and yet there are parts that are simply not happening fast enough and have managed to frustrate me and almost pull me into depression.
At this moment, I am sitting in an apartment in de Waterkant Cape Town, this is officially my new home for at least the next couple of years... so how exactly did this happen? I think there are still times I sit quietly and think about how rapidly this has happened, perhaps this is something I may do for a while.
My experiences over the past couple of months have really had me revisit my faith, my belief that things happen the way they should and that things are the way they are meant to be. The sequence of events begins with me losing my job at the end of April, I was retrenched and other than the fact that my income went with the job, I think it was the best thing that could have happened. I found myself stuck in job where I was contributing very little and learning much less, I was sitting in a job that was doing absolutely nothing for my career.
I am very grateful to the mother I have because she taught me the importance of saving, which is what has kept my bills paid until now. But the loss of my job has forced me to be dependent on the people around me, the people who love me. This has been to their detriment at times because my frustration at not being able to be dependent has put them in direct firing line... I’m sorry...Searching for a job in Johannesburg just seemed to be completely unfruitful, I kept hitting dead ends, no responses, rejections and I really needed to just breathe... I was constantly anxious and panicky and just completely dejected... I felt sick I can’t say that these symptoms are entirely gone but I’m learning to cope with them a lot better.
I’m in Cape Town now and still searching and even though I have days when I feel a lot less than useless, I still believe that a job will find me in time... and at this point, I am able to focus on finishing my honours modules.
Jo’burg my Jo’burg... It’s not the city ill miss, it’s my people... Good byes were extremely tough, a lot more difficult than I expected... My friends, I know who you are. My family has never been more important than right now. This was not at all easy.
Cape Town is good. It has always been good for my soul. Coming on holiday here many many times over the past years, I always felt like I needed to experience living here. So the opportunity presented itself and who was I to turn it down. I live in within walking distance from everything that is important. I wake up to the sight of two awesome mountains every morning. I’ve been given the chance to experience different cultures in a different city. I’ve been given the chance to start afresh, not to erase anything my life has previously offered but definitely the chance to try new things. I’ve been given the chance to create new memories. I know that God is here with me in this life.
It has been quite a difficult 3 months, I’ve really needed to find my faith, stick to hope, depend on the love that’s been given to me everyday and I think I may be able to actually find peace here in this place.
