God's will or just PMS?

For the past two days I've woken up with this decidedly sinking feeling... yesterday was complete anxiety and today an absolute heaviness... Of course I can't explain it.

Granted work is a bit slow and I'm really trying to keep the faith and find ways to change this. But I'm not sure that's the root of my anxiety. Part of me thinks it may be that over the past 2 weeks I've allowed myself to fall back into my bad eating habits, so even though I've kept up with boxing and gym I'm too scared to step on the scale. This upsets me. I get so angry with myself.

I haven't kept up with my new bible reading venture and I cant explain this either because I was actually quite enjoying this pastime.

I'm feeling quite unfulfilled at the moment. I seem to be using food to fill this gap and the more I do it, the less I like myself.

I cant figure out what gets me into these spaces. These low points. I anger easily, my sister is annoying me the most at the moment, for various reasons including not following up on a potential business connection which I made the effort to establish. And then her own personal life and choices which I decided to keep out of year ago... for my own peace of mind and sanity.

There are so many things I have to be grateful for... My marriage has remained fulfilling and full of overwhelming love. We have had no significant fights in fact we wake up each day with an the spirit to want to build each new day together.
God has truly answered our prayers with regard to business for my parents, they have numerous projects which seem to have great prospect of longevity. They have been given the opportunity to start again and do it well this time, It's scary, but I almost feel like this is their last chance to make and enjoy the kind of wealth they have have always worked hard for but never properly established.

It is their 40th anniversary tomorrow. Strange that a year ago they were not even sleeping in the same bedroom. God is good.

But God why??? I know we aren't supposed to question his ways but I'm struggling to understand why he would make things come together so beautifully for my parents business and then close doors for Yolandi and I. I'm struggling to understand why he would so clearly lead me away from being an employee only to have the devil cast doubt based on our current situation. I know there are many ways I could view this... perspective is a choice. He allowed us to carry my parents through months of hardship, which I am eternally grateful for. But my prayer is that they do not now need to do the same for us. My prayer is that we can carry ourselves and create wealth as a family for generations to come.

There are so many awesome things I want to write about. A new set of wheels, wonderful writing opportunity and chance to grow my portfolio, a friends upcoming wedding, a kick ass concert we went to, an impromptu visit and rekindling of an extraordinary friendship. But I am just feeling so low, I needed to get this out here first. Funny that just writing this paragraph has already lifted my spirits. We can choose to be happy, grateful and positive... I'm going to choose positivity for the rest today.