#EngagedinChina

Today is June 17. Nope not just another day. The day that my person asked me to marry him after 9 years of being together! I remember the day like it was yesterday, honestly, not the most romantic proposal in history but definitely filled with a lot of love.

A random day in China with some of our closest friends is what it was meant to be. Instead it ended up being a story I will be relating to people forever... It goes something like this.

We had arrived in Guangzhou the night before so were ready to take on touring the city. We had just enjoyed a good hotel breakfast and fooled by the air conditioning, Lefase and I were dressed in slightly warmer sweaters than the warm humid air outside required. In a quick dash upstairs we left the boys waiting to secure us a taxi expecting them to use some sort of broken english in an attempt to navigate our way through the city.

Now I suppose this is where you would expect me to lead you through a days activity of romantic gestures that would follow me through Guangzhou's quaint but smelly nooks and crannies, that my very romantic person had set out in a build up to the proposal. Well No. That's not how the story goes. Actually as soon as Lefase and I arrived back downstairs, Siso could not contain himself as he dropped to his knee and jumped straight to the question, "will you marry me?" No recital of any song or poem or long winded recap of any turbulent history which would now turn into ever lasting love. Nope. Right there, at no significant point in time or at any significant touristy love memorial, my person declared the front door of the Holiday Inn Guangzhou city center a monument of love forever. Well at least for the two of us.

Of course, being the person I am, I didn't make this any easier for him. I didn't breakdown in tears or shout in elation, rather, I screeched with laughter... yes, I laughed. I still am not sure why and cannot give you a definitive answer, perhaps it was the shock and confusion of which I feel I was most entitled to, given that nothing about the situation produced any forewarning or inkling that this activity was about to take place. Perhaps it was my disbelief that Sibusiso had not booked a restaurant or gone to any extravagant means and yet I was the happiest person in China at that moment, and I mean there are a lot of people in China! Perhaps it was that he managed to keep this from me for who knows how long. It doesn't actually matter because the point is, I laughed till eventually he looked up at me with a very concerned expression as asked "so is that a yes?" To his relief (and everyone else) it was.

He put the most beautiful, dainty ring on my finger and we got into two separate taxis. While being driven through the extremely bustling streets of this foreign country I couldn't help but replay what had just happened over and over in my mind. Reiterating that it was real.It felt like the whole world knew what had just happened, it felt like I was walking with my left hand in the air and everyone who passed would congratulate us.

Every time I looked down at my ring, I realised just how well this man knows me. He let his nerves take over and made the decision not to follow through with his intent to ask me at the end of our holiday in what would probably have been a beautiful romantic setting in Hong Kong, because at the back of his mind he knew that this particular setting was so us- it was spontaneous and romantic without any of the pretense. No nails or hair did, no fantastic outfit or meal. Just us in one of our realist moments. With Vuyo, Lefase and Squinzo there to witness and celebrate it all with us. I mean who would we have recapped the story with if not for them? Who would have given us any back story about how Vuyo refused to hang on to the ring in case Lefase found it and thought it was for her? or how Siso decided that the moment had arrived only seconds before?

Siso and I were engaged in the most random place, in the most random moment that was such a truthful depiction of who we are.

18 months later we got married. In a very detailed and planned ceremony and shared the day with many more of our closest people. Of course we could never let such a day pass without some randomness of its own. A story for another day.

Randomness back in full effect!

So its been absolute ages since I've blogged... For once this does not apply to my writing in general since I've done quite a lot of this in the Notes application of my phone. I cant tell you why I don't just do it here. I suppose I've just never wanted this blog to turn into my personal diary, which is the current direction of this post. Moving along... I have also finally started writing on a more professional level! Yay me! Something I have wanted to do forever but never pursued. But more on that later. Last night I decided that I would attempt to utilise this blog more efficiently since my head is always full of thoughts that I generally don't get to share with people due to my current self employed work situation which has me seated at my lone home desk in the corner of my lounge for most of everyday. Yes so you see a lot has changed since my last blog. But I don't want to go back only forward and so will write about all the developments, well as they develop I suppose. I should probably make note of the fact that I have changed the Blogs name from Peace, Faith, Love and Hope. This is not to say that these values no longer apply to my life but simply that I've been meaning to give the blog a more user friendly title that one could remember without having to figure out if Love comes before or in between faith and hope, which honestly is something I often needed to apply my mind to. So I've decided to call the blog Random Writings, for the very obvious reason that that's what it is. A lot of random writing from a random writer, who simply enjoys putting thoughts down in words and is lucky enough to sometimes get paid for it. I hope the few unlucky lovers who get to read these random posts enjoy it somewhat and that I can remain disciplined enough to keep at it. Caio for now!

Not quite my story yet

So it's been a while since I've written anything. Life is moving. 2013 has had its fair share of difficulties but has been good to me thus far. I am grateful.

Newly engaged. New home owners. Continued lessons been learnt. And with all of this I have seen my family's love for me shine brighter than ever before. They have been absolutely amazing, in guiding me, supporting me and simply being proud of me.

Fear hasn't left me yet. My future is daunting. My friendships have changed. I'm still trying to figure out what my dreams really are and I am terrified that life is running way ahead and taking with it any chance of those dreams becoming reality. I am trying to learn not to freeze. I am trying to learn not to be so disappointed in myself.

These things I want to do, I wish I would just suck it up and do them.

There is a lesson I learn very often and especially this year, everything happens in Gods time.

This is still my path. It is a better one everyday. It is the best one for me. Eventually my story will be the one I want.

Hyundai "don't tell" advert... Teach your kids to TELL

For the past two weeks I've seen this Hyundai Sante Fe advertisement that promotes children keeping secrets from their parents.... For the life of me I cannot understand how this can be viewed as anything but detrimental to a parent and child relationship that is void of any distrust....

I have two nieces and the minute they were able to understand anything was the minute that they were taught not to keep secrets from their parents.

This is such a dangerous behavior to encourage, particularly in a society where child abuse is extremely rife. Today it's a secret about an ice cream you bought for your child before lunch and tomorrow they're keeping a secret about the fact that they have been abused. Because your child was told "don't tell your mommy and daddy".

I don't believe that this is a lesson to ever teach our children not even in jest.
Brands and advertisers need to be a lot more conscious of their message,particularly when the advert directly or indirectly appeals to children.

We must do better.

Quirky kitchens

House hunting.... One of things in life that you love and hate. We've started and abandoned this process numerous times.

So we've started again.... Anyway, I've been really inspired by some of the places I've seen and have taken to searching for the most awesome kitchens, if I can't find one that exists in the home we choose my plan is to create it!

I want quirky. I want homely. I was modern but sorta country. I want this....

Set in stone that constantly breaks into pieces

I am still on that path. Everyday, in every way and I am getting better. I'm getting better at it all. Im getting better at accepting my path and it's ever changing course. Getting better at learning that I can change my path and that I am capable if I want to be. I am getting better at learning to accept the things I am struggling with and embrace the fact that those things will change in time.

I am struggling with life moving just moving on as if nothing happened. I'm struggling with the concept of death and losing loved ones. I'm struggling and I don't understand, it doesn't make sense to me. It takes my breath away and my soul screams in agony as my mind dares to even briefly, for a moment play with the thought. I can't.

My best friend lost her dad a month ago and I still breakdown as if it were my own father I've lost. I can't. I don't know how to make sense of it. I feel betrayed.

A day later we celebrated my own fathers 60th birthday. I felt like I betrayed her, my friend. I spoke at his celebration and as I spoke I realized how many things he still needed to be in my life for. I realised that I am still my parents last born child.

This inability to control deaths timing is not something I'm getting better at accepting.

Another year done 28 on the 23rd. I remember most birthdays and the awesome love that has enveloped each one of them and I realize that nothing I could ever do could express my gratitude, my love.

This is getting older. Attempting to spend your day with those who love you regardless of whether or not you want to.

I am getting better. Stronger. Wiser. Everyday, in every way.

In Retrospect: An old post, a past story, a constant truth

So 25 is closing in pretty fast now (we're counting days now...*sigh*) and there are quite a number of things going through my mind. I keep wondering why this particular number is so daunting and I just cant figure it out...Perhaps its because I only have a few days to become a charted accountant (changed my mind in std 8), write a book, travel the world and open my own -random- creative store of some sort and be mighty rich... yeah, so I clearly cant be 25 yet...I feel like ive had as many fleeting dreams as I do thoughts and each of them touch different parts of my life. My mind constantly moves me in directions that sometimes, I may be hesitant to move in. But one's heart and soul tend to be a lot more nimble than the mind.Strange how this organ and its spiritual counterpart can tell of so many happenings in one's life. Nothing can tell a story like the clear beating of a heart at the memory of events passed and words spoken, let alone the emotions captured at each.So im sitting here trying to figure out how I've gotten to be this person that I am. This person that I have gotten to know and that I have chosen to share with the people in my life. and then I realise that it is my soul that has carried me...I feel God in my life more now, than I did even a year or two ago. I feel the working of a higher power and although I believe in parts of different forms of spirituality, I feel the guidance that comes from more than just the influence of people around me.I could write for ages about the influence of various people in my life, specifically that of my loved one's and their love that has always guided and protected me. but I dont see how any of this love is humanly possible on its own. what does this biological organ have to do with this emotion that pours most uncontrollably from the depth of our souls.How can we possibly do it alone? How can we possibly live this life alone?There have been a lot of phases in my life when I have felt trapped. Our freedom is so often compromised by outside forces. My freedom is often hindered in this country by my inability to live in complete safety and without fear, its hindered by our people's inability to learn about our future by embracing our past, and the other way around. Yet in the same breath, I am free everyday in my ability to choose a better life, to choose to serve in a country that is constantly growing, to serve a me, that is constantly growing... My freedom is epitomised by my ability to think freely and to speak these thoughts, by my ability to learn and teach, to create and be judged only by my creator and to be true to myself no matter what that truth is.At 25 I've learnt that my soul is organic, fresh and healthy for as long as I keep it that way. I suppose the one who feels it knows it... I am simply on that path